Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life after Boyhood Sexual Abuse

By the age of sixteen, up to one in six boys has unwanted direct sexual contact with an older person. This is rarely talked about, and when it is, shame and embarrassment often stop us from speaking up openly and frankly. Now, this major new book by Dr. Richard Gartner, a pioneering therapist in the field, explores in depth the once-taboo subject of male sexual victimization.

Providing empowering action steps and written specifically for survivors of male sexual abuse as well as their spouses, partners, and loved ones, Beyond Betrayal is based on Richard Gartner's decades of experience as a psychologist, psychoanalyst, and advocate for sexually abused men. Covering both male and female abuse of boys and young men, Dr. Gartner explores the different types of abuse, from sexual abuse with and without touch to covert abuse to trauma, revealing the profound impact of sexual betrayal by such caretakers as clergy, family, teachers, babysitters, and health professionals. Gartner explains how as a child one trusts out of necessity—and how the betrayal of that trust ravages one's self-concept as a man while also wreaking havoc on one's relationships.

In this powerful book, Dr. Gartner allows his patients to speak for themselves. The men's heartrending stories convey the full range of long-term devastations of boyhood sexual abuse: the despair, the secrecy, and the isolation; the worry about manhood and sexual orientation; and the difficulties of developing intimate relationships. In sharing their stories, these courageous men demonstrate what bravely deciding to face your inner demons can bring you: trust, resolution, and connection.

In listening to this book, you'll discover how to safely experience emotions again and relate to others with confidence and security. Dr. Gartner also helps you shed the long-held conviction that you can either be a man or a victim but not both, and he teaches you how to determine who you really are and develop new, more flexible concepts of masculinity. Beyond Betrayal shows you that you can take charge of your recovery while living your life to its fullest potential.

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