
Don't Name Your Baby: What's Wrong with Every Name in the Book
A name affects who a person will become -- a lousy name is almost always the doorway to a lousy childhood. Parents should know their child will be harassed, no matter what name is given, but they must also consider the potential downside of the names they are pondering for their child. Sample entries are:
- Amy: Amy has such a cutesy, juvenile feel that most girls named Amy never get promoted past third grade.
- Andrea: Oh my God! Means manly in Greek.
- Charles: Prince Charles has ruined this name for everyone.
- Chrystal: You're going to name your baby after a shiny rock?
- Harold: Most Harolds tend to marry women named Gladys. So until Gladys picks up, you might want to stay away from this one or your boy will be lonely.
- Jesse: A name inextricably linked to America's most famous killer. Good choice.
- Jordan: You're naming your little girl after a 220-pound male athlete!? Have you considered Butkus? Larry? Wilt? Kobie?
- Tammy: There are some things from which a name can never recover, and five pounds of eye-liner is one of them.
As an added benefit, Don't Name Your Baby provides lists of names for ugly babies, babies who will be old before their time, dog names, faddish names, names no one can live up to, names that guarantee your child will get beat up at school, names for jobless babies, scented names, and the ultimate list of steady, reliable names. A wonderful gift for a friend.
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Book details
- Author
- David Narter
- Imprint
- Cumberland House Publishing, an imprint of Turner Publishing Company
- Published
- Formats
- Paperback
- Subjects
- Family & Relationships › Baby Names
- Topics
- baby names · humor · parenting · expectant parents · satire · name advice
- ISBN-13
- 9781581821918
About the author
DAVID NARTER is a high school writing instructor and playwright based in Illinois and the author of two books on baby names. His recent books include The Worst Baby Name Book Ever and Don't Name Your Baby: What’s Wrong with Every Name in the Book.
Narter’s short play Sharpies was selected for Smith and Krauss’s Best Ten-Minute Plays of 2019, and his full-length play #krazyman was a semi-finalist for the 2019 National Playwrights Conference at the O'Neill. His essays have appeared in English Journal and The Book Group Book, and he has appeared on CNN and ABC-7.
When he’s not writing, Narter contributes regularly to The Heckler and has written the screenplay The Outside Curve. His work spans humor, journalism, drama, and education.
David lives in Illinois with his two sons.
